The feeling of loneliness isn’t far-fetch when you are single. However, the journey of being single is not that of no return. Loneliness is not an abstract condition that affects only certain kinds of people. The truth is that the feelings of loneliness can affect anyone in-between any age or state of life.
A loneliness survey which was conducted in 2020 by Cigna Healthcare, has shown, that Generation Z (Gen Z) as we fondly call them, which ranges from the ages of 12-27, do feel lonelier than any other population in the world.
In 2018, Cigna conducted a large national online survey of U.S. adults to explore the impact of loneliness and found that loneliness was at epidemic levels. In 2019, the results showed that mental health crisis is unavoidably growing – three in five Americans (61%) report feeling lonely, compared to more than half (54%) in 2018.
Prolonged feelings of loneliness can affect mental health too. It can worsen any symptoms you’re currently dealing with since it won’t give you the needed room to focus on healing. It is one of the major factors that can lead anyone into developing serious mental health conditions, including depression.
Making the most out of singleness is key against feeling lonely. In the course of this article, a few steps are written down below, and you should be on your way out of loneliness in no time.
You must also understand that there is a slight difference between being alone and being lonely. Often heard people use it interchangeably, but in a few minutes you would also learn the difference.
Being alone can be purposeful; maybe to gather one’s thoughts, heal from a particular hurt, pray, focus on work, meditate whenever. Whereas loneliness is not a state you actually choose or plan to be in. There’s no purpose for it.
According to the Campaign to End Loneliness, people may spend plenty of time alone yet happily contented in their own company. The feeling of loneliness is a subjective feeling in which people feel a lack of companionship.
There is this tendency for people to feel lonely even when they’re around others. This can happen if they don’t feel connected to the people they’re around with.
Ways to beat loneliness and depression when you are single
01. Acknowledge how you feel
If you fail to acknowledge that you are lonely, you won’t see the need to take action. Once you realize that loneliness is a common experience and recognize that you’re enduring it because of certain situations unaddressed, you’ll be more equipped and in a better position to work on it.
02. Spend time with people you feel connected to and are close to you
Spending quality time with a romantic partner, friends or family members who you can easily connect with rather than being by yourself most of the time, is a great way to fight depression and loneliness.
Always be grateful to God for the gift of access to the most needed people at sensitive moments of your life; make an effort to spend as much time with them as possible. It’s true that when you engage in face-to-face interactions with these people, your body produces hormones that alleviate stress and promote positive emotional reactions.
That’s why face-to-face contact with friends and family is so integral to maintaining your mental health.
03. Get a hobby
You may want to get a hobby, a new one perhaps if you had one before. The essence of this, is to take advantage of the anxiety with an excitement that accompanies trying out something new or fun activities, as a distraction from your original feeling of loneliness. There are many fun activities to participate in, and there are always fun ones you can decide to try out.
Activities such as sky diving, bowling, joining a book club, a group or even try community service such as visiting seniors in a nursing home, volunteering at a children’s hospital or reading to kids at school.
04. Social Isolation
Taking a break from social media and all the fuss, can be a very strategic way to fight and defeat depression or loneliness. If you can stop paying so much attention to the pressure that comes with social media, you would dampen the effect it has on you.
You’d realize slowly, that true validation doesn’t come from jumping on one trend or the other. You’d stop attaching so much essence to those frivolities and slowly begin to notice that you are no more moved into depression or loneliness by what you see on social media.
05. Take advantage of nature
Personally, I often tell people, that you can’t imagine the effect nature can have on your emotions. Somehow, it finds a way to reduce tension and relieve stress, all at the same time.
If you can take a walk around your neighborhood, sometimes in the cool of the evening, or sit out and meditate, while making sure to take in the cool breeze and savor the blissful atmosphere the nature brings, this could be a great tool to fight depression and loneliness.
Both single people and those in an intentional relationships can take advantage of this.
06. Talk to a Professional
You may need to get medical or professional help. You might need to reach out to a therapist or a counselor or see if your place of work provides for an employee assistance program that is designed to help people with personal issues such as depression or loneliness. It is important that you know when it is time for you to get help.
07. Meet new people
Connecting with and meeting new people who introduce you to new interests and engage you, can help you overcome depression. If going out on dates in person isn’t an option, virtual meet-ups can be an excellent alternative.
But meeting new people doesn’t have to be connected to only meeting romantic partners. Meeting new friends, colleagues, etc can also help combat depression and loneliness.
08. Get a self-care routine
Depression can come from the fact that you pay little or no attention to yourself probably because of work or it can be taking care of a toddler or anything capable of stealing your attention.
Sometimes, you have to take some time out to take care of yourself and carry out some reflections. Routines like exercise, eating more healthier balanced diets, getting quality rest, reading a book can translate to the much needed self care, and help you overcome the feeling of loneliness or depression.
09. Take a self discovery course
Loneliness or depression aren’t always caused by external factors. Some of the root causes of depression or loneliness are internal factors such as low self esteem or lack of identity and purpose.
Taking courses that are designed to help you discover yourself and find your purpose, is a great way to overcome depression or feelings of loneliness.
10. Work on your goals and fulfilling purpose
When you are not fulfilling purpose, you are prone to feeling depressed and lonely.
True satisfaction comes from the fulfillment you get when you do what you’ve been called or created to do. A way to fulfill purpose, is setting goals. Setting small, realizable, unambiguous goals per time and per attainment, would help you fulfill purpose.
Rather than setting big goals that seem too unrealistic to achieve, you would want to break them down into smaller bits so you can make tangible progress. And when you achieve that bit of the goal, do well to set another bit and actively work towards achieving it. That’s what makes the difference. So many people give mind blowing goals, but they fail to work towards achieving them. They keep procrastinating and never actually putting in the work.
This most likely prolong your days of depression and loneliness rather than help you overcome them. And when you achieve your goals in bits, give yourself a pat on the back, be kind to yourself, and move right on to the next one.
Final thoughts
Anybody can have feelings of loneliness. Human beings are social creatures. While it’s normal to feel lonely sometimes, we thrive within relationships and communities of vibrant people. Remember that loneliness is something that everyone deals with at some point. There’s no shame in feeling lonely. It’s important to accept factors that are beyond your control.
If you feel lonely, practicing gratitude may be the pill you need. Something about practicing gratitude is that it focuses your mind on the right and positive things, and helps you feel better for what you already have rather than sulking over whatever you don’t have yet. Gratitude keeps you hopeful too. So, if you’re looking to overcome depression, you may need to learn to start practicing gratitude.
FAQs
-
Yes! Especially if you were in a committed romantic relationship prior to being a single person. Feeling connected to someone, and they leave, creates a void. And it’s natural to feel lonely when you feel disconnected from someone.
-
Spend time with people you connected and also close to you. You can also take a self discovery course and a hobby.
-
Nothing happens. You move on with your life, make new friends and engage in new activities until you get into another meaningful, goal-oriented relationship after you’ve made sure to heal and get a purpose for your life.
-
By taking a new hobby, taking self discovery courses, activities, by intentionally meeting new people, by surrounding yourself with positive energy and people like your close friends and family. You can even decide to do community service.
-
The root causes of loneliness can include situational variables, such as physical isolation, moving to a new location, or divorce. Losing a loved one, can also lead to feelings of loneliness. Loneliness can also be attributed to internal factors such as low self-esteem. The root of loneliness isn’t the absence of other people but an inner absence—you don’t have a centered awareness of your true self.
